My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
I think i'm just gonna start shot-gunning everything that comes in can form.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize