I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
