How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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