After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
