Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
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