her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
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