you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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