whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
