I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize
