I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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