billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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