Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
