Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
