Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
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