I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
