Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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