What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
