in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
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