You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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