I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
