you traded sex for a burrito?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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