K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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