Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
