you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
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