whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
he said "I would have fucked you in the chipotle bathroom" and I can't get over how awesome that would've been
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
