I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
Randomize
