my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
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