Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
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