...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
i think my cat just said my name.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
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