you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
