So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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