Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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