i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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