Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
