My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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