Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
