your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Randomize
