i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
