elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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