You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I lost the right to judge tonight
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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