I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
