just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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