this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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