If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
