How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
