..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
