Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
