your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
Randomize
