my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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