I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize
