Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Randomize
