Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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