i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
