Just cropdusted the office
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
