office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
