5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Randomize
