Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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