This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
just watched paranormal activity stoned. laughed the whole time and screamed when they turned on the lights. eating doritos. I love my life
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
